Read Non veg jokes in english

Read our funny non-veg jokes in the English language which will make you laugh and make your stomach ache, and you can share our non-veg jokes with your friends on WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook. 

So now what are you waiting for, let's read our funny non-veg jokes, Bad jokes in English.


Non veg jokes in english


Non-veg jokes in English-Dirty jokes in english-adult jokes in English-Bad jokes


(1) You can become πŸ’‚πŸ’‚a doctor and save lives;
You can be a lawyer and protect lives;
You can become a soldier and protect life;

Or remain a bastard and make a living.

Do not argue with women;πŸ’–πŸ’–
bcoz...
,
,
,
Sex πŸ’–πŸ’–is more important than ego!




(2) A princess meets a talking frog.
Princess: πŸ’–πŸ’–May I πŸ’kiss you to make you a handsome prince?
Frog: Babe, that was my Grandfather's time. I want a blow job!

(3) SexπŸ’ is like Maths.
Add the bed;
Subtract the clothes;
Divide the legs;
πŸ’πŸ’And pray to God, you don't multiply! 


Non veg jokes in English funny



(3) πŸ’–πŸ’πŸ’‚A Pervert,s Week:πŸ’–
Moanday
Tongueday
Wetday
Thirstday
Freakday
Sexday
Suckday πŸ’–πŸ’πŸ’‚



(4) Difference πŸ’–πŸ’‚between Surprise and Shock:
Surprise:
Girl: I am pregnant.
Shock:πŸ˜πŸ˜‹
Boy: I am sterile! 



(5) Once a πŸ˜πŸ˜‹professor asked his students to use "love" and "sex" in a sentence.
.
.
GIRLS wrote: πŸ˜πŸ˜‹When mutual understanding between a boy and a girl increases so much that they cant live without each other, implies they are in "love" and when this love reaches an extreme such that both are physically attracted to each other, they engage in a physical pleasurable encounter that we call "sex" !
.
.
BOYS wrote:πŸ’πŸ’‚

I love sex! πŸ’πŸ’‚


(6) New Amul Ad:πŸ’πŸ’‚
Amul Butter & Women -
Both utterly butterly delicious...
One on bread & the other in bed...
And even better when both are spread!

Research shows that 80% of men dont know how to use condoms. These men are called

.....................Dads! πŸ’πŸ’‚



(7) Commander: πŸ’‚πŸ’‚What do u call your CO?
Lieutenant: Sir we call him "virgin".
Commander: Why do u call him virgin?
Lieutenant: Sir he is purest form of a "cunt".

In an interview with a MNC, I was asked how I view πŸ’πŸ’Lesbian relationships?

..................Apparently πŸ’"In HD" was not the right answer!


(8) An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"
The old woman says, "πŸ’πŸ’Because I want to feel something hard for a change." 


(9) An English professor,s πŸ˜πŸ˜‚wife leaves town for a few days. Having forgotten something, she returns to find him in bed with another woman.

"Oh, my God! She exclaims."

I am surprised.πŸ˜‚

The professor tells her: "Not quite πŸ’˜πŸ’˜darling... we are surprised. You are shocked. 


Non veg jokes in english



(10) A five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer.πŸ˜‹ The preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass the kid. 

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking, son?" he asked. "That's nothing," the kid said after taking a swig of beer. "I got laid when I was three." "What? How did that happen?" 

"I don't remember. I was drunk." πŸ˜‹πŸ˜




(11) The tour bus traveling through northern Nevada passed briefly at the Mustang Ranch, near Sparks. The guide noted: πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜‚
"We are now passing the largest house of prostitution in America." πŸ˜‹πŸ’

A male passenger shouted, "WHY?!?" 


(12) A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‚

"Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, πŸ˜‹πŸ˜

"Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" 



(13) A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell."πŸ˜‹πŸ˜

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem," she complained, "is that it wakes me up." πŸ˜‹


(14) An unmarried girl had a child. Pappu: πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹How did this happen? Girl: 

Janu, when your night fall happened last night, πŸ’˜πŸ’˜

"My Bluetooth was on "?πŸ’˜


non veg jokes in english



(15) When the dancer bowed in the club, the American put a note of 100 rupees in her bra and the British put 200.  πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜‹

Santa inserted the ATM card in his bra and took away 300? πŸ˜‹


Santa banta non veg jokes in english


(1) Jeeto: Please just hook this bra. Santa:πŸ˜‹πŸ˜ I will take 4 kisses instead. Jeeto: 

Let it be, I will get the neighbor installed for free, πŸ˜‹

he will put his hand and set it.πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜‹


(2) A very black woman was walking with her two children. Seeing him, Santa asked him, are these two twins? πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜‹

Woman: No, there is a difference of one year. Santa: πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹Can't believe anyone can take you twice.




(3) Pappu 😁😁standing at the bus stop in heavy rain, seeing a girl's wet nipple (milk) said: 

Your head light is on. πŸ˜πŸ˜‹Girl: Is electricity being spent by me or yours? 

Pappu: But the load was falling on my pole. ,πŸ˜πŸ˜‹


(4) Pappu: Papa, πŸ˜πŸ˜‹why do we burst balloons on the birthday? 

Santa: Because son, πŸ˜πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜‹

you are celebrating your birthday today because of the balloon bursting.πŸ˜πŸ˜‹




(5) Sister-in-law wore aπŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹ mini skirt for the first time and said to Pintu, Jiju, look, 

I can't see my panties by bending over? πŸ˜‹πŸ˜

Pintu πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹said after looking for a long time, 

I can't see it, but wear it with memory.πŸ˜‹πŸ˜



Non veg jokes in English


Double meaning non-veg jokes in English :


(1) A man calls in the marriage bureau and speaks.

I do not have both hands and both legs.πŸ’πŸ’‚ Can I get married?

Lady Operator: Yes, maybe. But that's your 'he', isn't it?

Man: πŸ˜πŸ˜‹Ha! Dial the number from the same.πŸ˜πŸ˜‹



(2) Most πŸ˜πŸ˜‹famous complaint made in school time
,
,
,
Madam, πŸ˜πŸ˜‹it is shaking Do not let me write...



(3) While having dinner in Sharma ji's party, Mrs Sharma came to Verma ji and said: Brother, you have not taken anything, what was it then,πŸ˜πŸ˜‹ 

Mrs Sharma picked up the piece of chicken and put it in the plate.πŸ˜πŸ˜‹
,
When the party was over, πŸ˜πŸ˜‹Sharma ji asked Verma ji: 'How did you like the food?
,
Verma ji: Great, but in the end what sister-in-law gave by lifting the leg, 😁it was just fun!


Double meaning non-veg jokes in English




(4) From a friend to another friend:

"LetπŸ˜πŸ˜‹ brother eat sweets"

Other friend:

" Why "

first friend:πŸ˜πŸ˜‹

"Bhai Teri Bhabhi who works in call center has πŸ˜πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜‹won Best Call Girl Award"


(5) The milkman was constantly ringing the doorbell!!

A woman from the house spoke from inside?

just do it? How much will you press,πŸ˜πŸ˜‹ better than you, the newspaper person is softly "put it from the bottom and goes away"πŸ˜πŸ˜‹



(6) Husband and wife went to the juice shop. The husband drank the juice of one banana and the wife had 2 mausamee juicesπŸ˜πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜‹

While making the payment, the shop waiter spoke to the owner

"Sir, take one banana for brother and twoπŸ’–πŸ˜‹ mausamee bites of a madam"


vikas yadav

i am a blogger and writer and blogging is my hobby and side business too my blog

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