Read our best funny Little Johnny Jokes in English


A good joke can be appreciated by anyone. The joke is typically funny because it involves making fun of someone or something. 

Little Johnny is frequently the target of jokes about other people making fun of or picking on him. And there are always some fun words and sentences about little Johnny Here we have countless variations of Little Johnny jokes, dirty little johnny jokes, and clean little johnny jokes but these are by far the finest.


Funny Little Johnny Jokes


Funny little johnny jokes-Little johnny jokes


1. TEACHER: Did you finish your homework? JOHNNY: Did you finish marking my test? TEACHER: I have other children's tests to grade. JOHNNY: I have other teachers' homework to complete.不不


2. One morning, Johnny went to bible study. Sally was sound asleep in front of Johnny. Sally was asked by the teacher who our Lord and Savior was. When Johnny poked her in the buttocks with a pin, she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" And then went back to sleep. Sally was later asked by the teacher who created our world. Sally screamed "oh my god!" when Johnny poked her in the buttocks again. And then went back to sleep. Sally was later asked by the teacher what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Sally screamed as Johnny poked her in the buttocks, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'm going to break it!"不不不


3, One day, a young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class. Because it was a large assignment, she began writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly, one of the boys in the class burst out laughing.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks,

"What's so funny Billy?"

"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the

punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three

weeks."

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she

turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This

time there is a burst of laughter from another male student.

She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks. "Well

teacher, 不不from what I just saw, my school days are over!"不


Little johnny jokes



4. A new teacher was attempting to put her psychology courses to use. "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" she said as she began her class.

 Little Johnny stood up after a few seconds. "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" asked the teacher. "No, ma'am, but I despise seeing you standing there by yourself!"不 


5. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" a teacher asks her class. "I want to be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, taking the best girl with me, giving her a Ferrari worth over a million dollars, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and making love to her three times a day," 

Little Johnny says. 不The teacher, shocked and unsure what to do about the child's bad behaviour, decides to disregard what he said and resumes the lesson. "And you, Susie?" the teacher inquires. "I want to be Johnny's bitch," Susie says.不


Little Johnny Jokes



6. He Says He's Too Smart For 2nd Grade, So His Teacher Puts Him To The Test

A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was, and he replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her too."

The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to him.

The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question, he would go back to the second grade and be quiet.

The teacher and Johnny both agreed.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnny: "9."

Principal: "6 x 6?"

Johnny: "36."

So, it went on like this. The principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally, after about an hour, he told the teacher, "I see no reason why Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right."

The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agreed.

Teacher: "What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?"

Johnny: "Legs."

Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I don't have?" The principal gasped, but before he could stop him from answering, Johnny answered.

Johnny: "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Johnny: "Pants."

Teacher: What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?"

Johnny: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a big sigh of relief and said: "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself."

不不不 


7. Why are you late, teacher?  Because of the sign, Little Johnny. What is the sign, teacher? Little Johnny: He's the one who says, "School Ahead, Slow Down." That's exactly what I did.
不不


funny Little johnny jokes


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8. Little Johnny returns home from school with a note from his teacher stating that "Johnny appears to be having some difficulty distinguishing between boys and girls," and that his mother "please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this." 

So Johnny's mother quietly leads him upstairs to her bedroom and closes the door. - First, Johnny, I'd like you to remove my blouse. So he unbuttons her blouse and removes it.

Okay, now remove my skirt... And he removes her skirt. - now remove my bra. That he does. - and now, Johnny, please remove my pantyhose.

 When Johnny is finished, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any longer!"
不不不 


Little Johnny Jokes Dirty



9. What do you want to do in the future, teacher? Jimmy: I want to be a pilot. Willy: I want to be a doctor. Mary: I want to be a good mother. Little Johnny: I want to assist Mary.

不不不 

Little johnny jokes dirty:



10. Little Johnny's new baby brother is wailing uncontrollably. "Where did we get him?" he inquires of his mother. "He came from Heaven, Johnny," his mother responds. Johnny states, "Wow! I can see why they evicted him!"不不


Little Johnny Jokes Dirty


11. During an English lesson, the teacher notices that one of his students is not paying attention. The teacher inquires, "Connect these two sentences, Johnny. I was riding my bike to school. I came across a dead body." After some thought, Little Johnny says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."不不不 


12. Johnny approaches a girl and says, "hey baby, what's up?" "I have a boyfriend," she says, and "I have a math test," Johnny says. When the girl asks, "What does that have to do with anything?" Johnny responds, "I thought we were just naming things we were going to cheat on."
不不不


13.Little Johnny returns home from Sunday school with a black eye. "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" his father says. "But it wasn't my fault, Dad. We were all praying together in church. 

My teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her buttocks as we all stood up. I reached over and took it. That's when she smacked me!" "Johnny," said the father. "You don't do things like that to women." Sure enough, Johnny returned home the next Sunday with the other eye black and blue. 

"Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" said little Johnny's father. "But, Dad, it wasn't my fault," Johnny explained. We were saying our prayers in church. My teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her buttocks as we all stood up. Then Louie, who was sitting next to me, noticed it and reached over to pull it out. Now that I know she doesn't like it, I pushed it back in!"不不不 


14. Little Johnny 不was digging a hole in his backyard one day. The next-door neighbour noticed him and decided to look into it. "Hello, Johnny, how are you?" he inquired. "My goldfish died, and I'm going to bury him," Johnny said. "Isn't that a really big hole for a goldfish?" inquired the neighbour. "Because he lives inside your cat!"不不


 
Little Johnny Jokes


15. "Can I be punished for something I haven't done?" asks Little Johnny.
The teacher is taken aback. "Certainly not, Johnny! That would be extremely unjust!"

Johnny is overjoyed. "That's good to know, because I haven't done my homework," he says.


16. Little Johnny has returned to school after the holidays. After a few days, his teacher contacts Little Johnny's father to inform him that Johnny has been misbehaving at school. 

"Hold on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for two months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved," his father says to the teacher.


17. The teacher of Little Johnny says to him, "Johnny! Your essay on My Dog is identical to your sister's!"

Did you just steal hers? she wonders.

"No, teacher, it's the same dog!" Johnny responds. 


18. Little Johnny was having academic difficulties. He surprises his teacher with an announcement one day. "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get spanked!" he says as he approaches her.


19. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating straight away. 

Johnny, wait until weve said our prayer, his mother reminded him. I dont have to. the little boy replied. Of course you do. his mother insisted.  

We say a prayer before eating at our house. Thats at our house, Johnny explained, but this is Grandmas house and she knows how to cook.
不不不



20. Little Johnnys class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. 

On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "It was so nice of you to put my daddys picture up there."
不不不 


Little Johnny Jokes


21. A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: "Can I see your dad?" Johnny: "No, hes in the shower." Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?" Johnny: "Nope. Shes in the shower, too.

" Salesman: "Do you think theyll be out soon?" Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead." 


22. TEACHER: "Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in onesentence."JOHNNY: "De-feet of DE-duck went over De-fence before De-tail."
不不不 



23. The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week.
Little Johnny got up and read his essay.

It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..." "My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed.
"Is he all right?" "He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
不不不 



24. Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own business!"
不不不 



25. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game,she will describe an object and the students will tell herwhat she had described.Teacher: "The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem." 

Timmy: " I know what it is, it's an apple." Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking." "OK the next item is round, has a peel, and you eat it."Christopher: "I know what it is, it's an orange." Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking.

" Johnny: "Can I try, Teacher?" Teacher: "Yes Johnny, but, Keep it clean!" Johnny sticks his hands in his pockets and feels around for a second, and says "My object is round, hard, and has a head on it." 

Teacher: "Alright Johnny, go to the office!" Johnny: "No Teacher, it's a quarter, but, I like the way you're thinking!"
不不不


26. The students returned to class on Monday morning. They were thrilled.
Their weekend task was to sell something and then give a presentation on productive salesmanship.

"I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," Little Mary proudly stated. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit, and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," the teacher said.

"I sold magazines," said Little Sally, "I made $45 and explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up to date on current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher. 

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. 

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped 
a box full of cash on the teacher's desk."$2,467," he said. 

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" 
"Tooth brushes," said Little Johnny. 
"Tooth brushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell 
enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" 
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a 
Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. 
They all said the same thing. 
Hey, this tastes like shit! 
Then I would say.............." It is shit." 
Wanna buy a toothbrush? 不不不

vikas yadav

i am a blogger and writer and blogging is my hobby and side business too my blog

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