Read Best Funny dark humor jokes In English

We all know that everyone likes to read jokes and that too many jokes of different types make you laugh a lot and some even make your stomach ache. 

Because jokes are meant to make you laugh, here we have brought some best dark humor jokes, dark jokes, dark humor jokes tik tok, dark humor jokes no limits, dark humor jokes orphans you will enjoy reading live.


Funny dark humor jokes In English


Funny dark humor jokes-Dark humor jokes and memes


 1. Pappu said to his wife when he became poor: 

You send the children to the grandmother's house.

And you go to your mother. what's mine! I will go to my in-laws' house!!!


2. Pappu (to Gappu): My father is very coward.

Gappu: How?

Pappu: Whenever we cross the road, he holds my finger and says don't leave it.



 3. Yamraj: Tell me any of your last three wishes

Boy: Sharab Shabab Kebab

Girl: Shopping Beauty Parlor

lose weight

Yamraj (to the boy): Come on brother, first you go


Funny dark humor jokes


4. Cameraman should get the man of the match award.

Finding beautiful girls even in a crowd of 58000 and focusing on them is a really amazing talent.


5. If your family members let you sleep till 10 am on Sunday morning, then either your salary is good or they have no hope from you.


Funny dark humor jokes-dark humor jokes


6. 'Mastani was Bajirao's 2nd wife

'Mumtaz' was the 8th wife of Shah Jahan, whom he loved very much. wow no one loves first wife


7. In a function the teacher asked all the students, Do you have any bitter experiences in this college?

A student said, "Me and my wife met in this college."


Dark humor jokes


8. Facebook:- I know everyone.

Google:- I have everything

Internet:- Without me you are nothing!

Charger: - Volume down!


9. Tantrik: "Son... you are possessed by a 'witch'".

"Babaji

no-nonsense

she is my girlfriend.


10. Husband is that creature who is definitely not afraid of ghosts

But the wife's '4 missed calls' were Enough to create fear!!!!


Dark humor jokes tik tok


11. 36 qualities have to be combined for marriage

But if any two demerits (cigarettes, alcohol, etc.) are found in friendship, then in a few hours it becomes unbreakable love.


12. The biggest difference between mother and wife

Mother teaches to "speak" and wife to be "silent". ,


Dark humor jokes


13. Conductor on the bus:- Madam, how old are these children...??

Female:- Small 2 years, middle 2.5 years, and big 3 years!

Bus conductor:- Madam, if you don't want to buy a ticket, even if you tell your age less.... but keep the gap of at least 9 months.

Madam:- The middle child belongs to my sister-in-law - Stupid


14 Teacher: How do you see obscenity on the Internet?

Student: Yes mam in full HD .......................



15. True love is the one who does not allow kajal to flow from the eyes and does not allow lipstick to remain on the lips.


16. Son - Papa my madam is so cool isn't she?

Father-son teacher is like a mother

Son-you always see your own happiness


17. A strong rumor of childhood is also that.... . , "Girls without clothes come on Fashion TV after 12 midnight"


Dark humor jokes


18. Breaking news

25% drop in sleep due to Whatsapp and fb.

Earlier people used to sleep for 8 hours.

now people sleep for 5 hours

 


19. The daughter-in-law was crying. Mother-in-law asked while calling - Why daughter, why are you crying..?

Daughter-in-law: Do I look like a witch..?

Mother-in-law: No, not at all.

Daughter-in-law Are my eyes like a frog..?

Mother-in-law: Not at all

Daughter-in-law: Is my nose like a fritter..?

Mother-in-law: No..!

Daughter-in-law: Am I fat and black like a buffalo..?

Mother-in-law: No daughter, who told you all this..?

Daughter-in-law: Then why do all the people of the locality keep saying that you look like your mother-in-law.?

Mother-in-law unconscious

 

20. Today's knowledge: - most people believe that Behind every successful man, there is a woman

So friends if you want to become more successful then ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Increase the number of women behind you...!!


Dark humor jokes

 

21. Teacher: If I were your mother, I would have made you a human from a donkey in 2 days.

Pappu: And my father would have made you a mare from a human in 1 night.


22. In sword fighting:

A Chinese cut the hair into two pieces.

A Japanese cut off the neck of a flying fly.

Rajinikanth made the mosquito fly and swung the sword, but the mosquito kept flying.

Japanese: The mosquito is still flying......

Rajinikanth smiling: He is flying but..... he will never be able to become a father again.

 


23. A boy's tool was touching behind a girl in a packed bus.

The girl slapped hard and said.

 Bastard has no place to stand on his own,

Here and you have kept this also standing.


24. When you go to a whatsapp friend's house and if his wife starts fixing her clothes after seeing you... then understand that your sister-in-law has also read all your messages...


25. Pappu: Doctor, there is a problem in the stomach, noodles are coming out instead of potty.

Huh . , ,Doctor upset! ,

How could this happen ? Show it in front of me. , , , ,

Pappu: Picking up his lungi, he sits down to poop. , .the doctor leans over

And speaks. , ,

Bastard by putting this mesh vest on top and then go to potty.


26. Pappu: Mummy yesterday, Papa made the maid lie down on the sofa…

Mummy: Not now son..! When father comes at night, then tell me...!

As soon as father came…………….. Mother: Yes son, now tell me what happened?

Pappu: Papa, by making the maid lie on the sofa, which Sharma's uncle would do with you.

Yes, they were doing all that.


27. Girl: Baby I will fast for you,

Boy: No baby will do very comfortably, Enjoying slowly with feeling,

Girl: Priest of lust, I am talking about fasting.


28. The teacher asked Pappu in the class Teacher: "Tell me Pappu, when is God most happy?" 

Pappu: "Yes, when a girl is being raped and she is crying out, 

please leave me for God's sake."

29. Girl: “My Left Leg Is Lunch And My Right Leg Is Dinner, What Would You Like To Have?” smart Pappu: “I Would Like To Have Snacks Between Lunch And Dinner“


Dark humor jokes


30. The hook of the bra of the girl sitting in the class broke with the sound of "tak". The teacher asked: "Hey what happened? What was that sound like?" Pappu, who was sitting behind the girl, suddenly said, "Madam, did the birds break free after breaking the cage, should I catch them?"


31. Madam was teaching the children in the class 

I ink 

J for jug 

K for Kite 

L for Lund 

Ohh! Sorry, it came out of my mouth by mistake. Pappu: "No problem ma'am take it back in your mouth"


32. Teacher to Pappu: "You are elder or your father?" 

Pappu: "I am big" Teacher: "How is that?" 

Pappu: "Look ma'am, I have stopped drinking mummy's milk but papa still drinks it"


33. Pappu to his mother: "Mother, I want a younger brother of mine" Mother: "Son, Papa has gone to Dubai, we will think after he comes" Pappu said after thinking a little: "Why don't we give a surprise to Papa"


34. In the class teacher asks the children: "What is the work that 5 boys can do together but 5 girls can never do?" This was the hand of Santa's son Pappu.

Pappu: "Madam, shall I tell" Madam: "Tell?" Pappu: "Madam, that work is to urinate in the same bucket."


35. A child was troubling the mother, so the mother threatened him and said "sleep otherwise Gabbar will come" Boy: 

"First give 100 rupees" 

Mother: "Why?" Boy: "Otherwise I will tell papa, that gabar comes here after I sleep"


36. A small child of 10 years got confused and asked his father?

Boy: "Daddy, how many legs does the heart have?" Father being surprised: "Not even one son, who told you?"

Child: "Then why were you saying last night, put your legs up sweet heart"


37. A boy used to work in a cement factory, one day his father told him.

Father: "We want to build a house, bring 25 bags of cement."

Boy: "No, I am very honest"

Father: "Ok, then you bring only 15 sacks"

Boy: "No, I have a good image in my office"

Father: "Then bring only 5 sacks"

Boy: "No, I can't bring"

Father: "Can you bring at least one sack?"

Boy: "Dad, explain that I cannot bring even a single sack."

  Father thought something: "Okay, then bring a handful of cement.

Boy surprised: "What will you do with a handful of cement?"

Father: "I will put it on your mother's vagina, so that no other honest son can be born."


38. On the wedding night, after having sex with his bride, the bridegroom said understanding the rules and regulations of his house.

Groom: "If you want to live in this house, you will have to be stingy"

Bride: "Then what was the need to apply so much oil on the penis, for us that work was done by spitting."


40. Oversmart Wife: “If I Sleep With Your Most Loving and Close Friend, 

What Will Be The First Thought In Your Mind?” 

Smart Husband: “You Are A Lesbian“


41. "Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for

which her parents had carefully prepared. 

They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly. "Does that answer your question?" her father asked. 

"Not really," the little girl said. "Marcia said she came from Newcastle. I want to know where I came from."


42. A small child suddenly went to his parents' room.

On reaching there, he shouted loudly and said,

Suck whatever you want and you beat me for sucking your thumb.


Funny Dark humor jokes

43. Once a woman took her husband to see the doctor.

Woman: Doctor, he is very weak.

Doctor: Give them milk.

Woman: I feed everyday,

But they drink less and suppress more.


44. Girl: There is no one at home.

come quickly

Boy: You are crazy...

Will you get me Fuc......................ked?

girl: yes


Some of more best dark humor jokes


1. I just got my doctor's test results, and I'm very disappointed. As it turns out, I won't be a doctor.

2. My grief counselor passed away. He was so good that I don't care.

3. I asked my phone today, "Siri, why am I still single?" It also turned on the front camera.

4. A man comes out of a coma. "I really can't rely on you for anything, can I?" his wife exclaims as she changes out of her black clothes.

5. As I get older, I think back on all the people I've lost along the way. Perhaps my burgeoning career as a tour guide was not the best fit.

6. While digging in our garden, I discovered a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to dash home and tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden in the first place.

7. The doctor prescribed cream for my skin rash. He said I was a psoriasis sighting.

8. Don't engage Death in a pillow fight. Unless you're expecting reaper cushions.

9. I have no carbon footprint. I simply drive everywhere.

10. Even people who are completely useless can make you smile, such as when you push them down the stairs.

11. A man enters an enchanted forest and attempts to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down!" exclaims the tree, "I'm a talking tree!" "You may be a talking tree, but you will converse," the man responds.

Dark humor jokes no limits


12. My mother died because we couldn't remember her blood type. She kept telling us to "be positive" as she died, but it's difficult to do so without her.

13. What do my father and Nemo have in common? They are both missing.

14. I went to my new friend's apartment. He told me to relax and make myself at home. So I kicked him out. I despise having visitors.

15. When my Uncle Frank died, he requested that his cremated remains be buried in his favourite beer mug. His final wish was to play Frank in Stein.


Dark humor jokes no limits



16. Have you heard the expression "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, terrible way to learn you were adopted.

17. My husband scribbled on the fridge, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's referring to. I opened the fridge door, and everything is fine!

18. What caused the man to miss the funeral? He wasn't the type to weep.

19. It is critical to develop a strong vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

20. Curious about how to turn any salad into a Caesar salad? Stab it a total of twenty-three times.

21. I don't think it's cute or romantic to see the names of lovers engraved on a tree. I find it strange that so many people bring knives on outings.

22. Light a match and a man will be warm for a few hours. Set him ablaze, and he'll be toasty for the rest of his life.

23. My wife is irritated by my lack of direction. So I packed my belongings and left.

24. At what point does a joke become a dad joke? When it abandons you and never returns.

25. At the electric chair, a priest asks the convicted murderer, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," says the murderer. "Would you mind holding my hand?"


Dark humor jokes no limits



26. 26. I just read that someone is stabbed in New York every 52 seconds. That poor man.

27. After the doctor told me I only had a year to live, I shot him with my gun. The judge sentenced me to 15 years in prison. The issue has been resolved.

28. You know you're unpopular when you get handed the camera every time a group photo is taken.

29. What happened to Joe after he got lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

30. What is red and harmful to your teeth? A block.

31. According to my grandfather, my generation is overly reliant on cutting-edge technology. So I turned off his life support.

32. My parents raised me as an only child, which irritated my sister greatly.

33. What did the Titanic say before sinking? All passengers are nominated for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

34. Why did Mozart slaughter all of his chickens? When he asked who was the greatest composer, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach."

35. How many emo kids are required to replace a lightbulb? They are all crying in the dark.

36. I have a stepladder because my real ladder broke when I was five years old.

37. They mocked my crayon drawing. Their chalk outline made me laugh.

38. My husband and I have made the difficult decision not to have children. If anyone does, please send me your contact information so that we can drop them off tomorrow.

39. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but unfortunately none of them work.

40. The CEOs of pretzel companies are the most corrupt. They're always so bizarre.

vikas yadav

i am a blogger and writer and blogging is my hobby and side business too my blog

Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post